Wednesday, February 23, 2005

New York -- Bag capital of the world.

Shopping in New York is weird. Period. I just got back from the grocery store, which is always annoying. People in Ohio, staring at products but indecisive, are typically courteous and get to one side or the other so people can get by while they weigh the ups and downs of brand name versus generic, or whatever purchasing algorithms they are computing. In New York, they don't do that. They stand there and block the whole damn aisle, even without a cart in hand! One lady turned her cart towards me, looked right at me, and continued to swerve it into my body while I tried to get out of her way. RETARD.

Then I get up to the line. People flood lines 1 and 2, even if 3 thru 9 are staffed but empty. This baffles me. Maybe lines 1 and 2 SMELL better. Or maybe only the cool kids are using those check-outs. Maybe IQs go up the higher your lane number. Either way, I got in line 5 behind some lady who had about seven items to make my meager purchase. A lady walks up behind me and asks me, as if I work there, whether that lane is staying open beyond me. Like, after I make my purchases, I will be raining sulfur onto that check-out and leaving it a smoldering pile of rubble. I just shrugged, being about as helpful to these morons as I usually am.

I go to pick up my things after paying, which is made ever more difficult by the fact that every place in this city double-bags EVERYTHING. I got a half-gallon of ice cream. Two bags. Quart of milk? Two bags. El bago de Doritos? Dos bolsas, por favor! At least I know if I ever need to suffocate myself, the local Food Town is more than happy to help out.

So i'm trying to pick things up, as I said before, and it takes me a good three minutes just to get a finger or two thru all the loops on all the bags and double bags these clowns saddled me with. Maybe it's store policy, and I'm cool with that. But it seems like a waste.

I also engaged in the recurring displeasure of stopping by my local branch of Chase Bank to cash my paycheck. The service in there is phenomenally bad, and has been every time I've been in there. There were two customers in there, and instead of pushing ahead to get us out of there so they could resume whatever seemingly more important thing they had to do, they waited on the first guy, then walked away from him, leaving three other tellers behind the counter doing god-knows-what, but nobody even looked in my direction. This is pathetic. It took another five minutes or so of standing there before anyone even attempted to help me, and even then it seemed like I was really putting them out. Quite.

It's not the big things that make me dislike this place. The traffic, the crime, the hordes of people on the sidewalk. It's the little stupid things that somehow weren't a problem in bass-ackwards Ohio. We may be a bunch of red-neck hicks out there, but at least we have some common sense and courtesy.

1 comment:

Alicia said...

We may be redneck hicks, but at least we got us some manners!

And some pigs to roast.

--your friendly slack-jawed yokel