Monday, March 28, 2005

Sometimes I'm still surprised.

Wow, a lot happened today:

1. I managed to bungle a bunch of stuff at work without even realizing it. Or trying.

2. I got a girl (Allison) obsessed with me (the more I run away, the more she chases me), but sadly I'm not that crazy about her. She's ok, but something's....missing. Where's Natalie when I need her?

3. I finally talked to the Rachel Weisz-esque lady. Turns out she's from Ecuador originally and has been here for about 10 years. Very odd accent, but it was amazing just to sit by her and chat. The guys around the office gave me some props later for putting it on the line like that.

4. Kate is still kind of an enigma. She chats me up but plays hard to get. Guess I'll have to play a "Steve." (See 'The Tao of Steve' if you're unfamiliar...but don't expect a whole lot) It doesn't help that I have a weakness for the name "Kate," either.

5. A long lost friend from high school emailed today to tell me she now lives near Boston. I have friends near B-town already, so I might have to go see her.

6. Speaking of Boston, I'm heading up there to see 'Sin City' with my pals this weekend. Should be a blast. They have God of War (for PS2), so that'll need a look, too.

7. One other work-related chick thing...Sarah, this gal we have lunch with, had me psychoanalyze a guy who clearly wants to date her, but she doesn't want him and doesn't believe him to be serious. Sure, whatever. I took Psych classes and you didn't, babe. Besides, Sarah is kinda hot, in a quirky Asian-American sort of way, so I'm all about being friends with her. Duh.

I'm still on a high from talking to Rachel Weisz-chick. She said she moved to the States with her husband, but who knows if that's still a factor. I'll have to find out more tomorrow. The way her hair hangs in her face, the way she looks at me, the way she stands, walks, even mesmerizes me. God help me.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Meet and kill

I have an idea for a magazine. It's essentially an entertainment magazine with about as much significance as People or EW, which is to say, not much. In it, we review knives, bungee cords, brands of duct tape, cars with ample trunk space, and other things that serial killers would find interesting. Hey, I don't discriminate. Besides, if we put a personals/classified section in the mag, they might start meeting and turning on each other, which solves the problem for the rest of us. The title of this rag would be Sick Fuck (maybe Quarterly or Monthly, depending on content). We could get exclusive interviews from past serial killers, tips and tricks of the trade straight from those who've done it. Of course, they got caught, so only heed their advice to an extent, kids!

Happy Resurrection/Fertility Festival!

So, many of you may know of, an online grocery store that ships your foodies right to your door. (Check that rhyme, niggas) I had a thought today in the shower, where most of my good ideas come from: open a discounted version of that store that sells food either on or just after its expiration date called C'mon, you know you've eaten food past its exp date. I do. That's why my immune system could devour a horse mid-stride. Hooves and all.

Hit the Target at Atlantic-Pacific last night and got a few things:

1. Best of Chris Farley on DVD
2. Bill Cosby - Himself on DVD
3. Avril Lavigne - Under My Skin (went halvsies with Maria on that one)
4. Velvet Revolver - Contraband (gotta have 'Fall to Pieces')

I also noticed how New Yorkers view mass retail outlets like Target and Wal-Mart as such a novelty. Their sheer consumerism appeal is as irresistable as a shiny button is to an ostrich. Apparently the shopping gene is even more prevalent in black people, or they have more people to shop for. Not sure which. I know they sell condoms there, or somewhere around there, and these people should consider the option, as many screaming bratty kids as I saw there.

All in all, going to Target is a lot like going to the zoo. There are lots of little screaming critters and things that don't get out of your way when you clearly need to get by. I'm not sure I like going there. No, in fact, I AM sure I DON'T like going there. It doesn't help that, since Target here attracts the same clientele as Big Lots back in Ohio, the store is often in total disarray. Their selection of CDs was pretty unimpressive, too. I'm relegating my entertainment needs to either Best Buy or the Virgin Megastore up in Union Square. Good lord, these people.


So they decided to halt appeals on the Terry Schiavo case today. It's Easter. Wouldn't it be fucked up if she died today and came back from the dead tomorrow as like the First Horseman or something? Sitting atop a decaying steed, wide-brimmed hat perched atop her head, six-shooters on each hip, blinking angrily at me...that'd restore my faith pretty quickly. And yes, I'm going to hell for even joking about this. See ya there, and bring marshmallows!

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Free at last

I heard a while back that the division between rich, middle-income, and poor went something like this:

When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich; if your name is on your desk, you're middle-income; if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.

It occurred to me tonite that New York gave me my first real job without a name tag. I suppose some of my writing and PC repair back in Ohio counts, but that didn't really pan out much.

Cheers to The Big Apple for helping me move up in the world.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Reading gives me ideas...

Now I know why they try to ban books: they're informative! I'm about to finish off Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (the book, sillies; the games I finished long ago), and it sheds a lot of light on vegan extremists, bio-plagues, and how hard it is for police to find serial killers in the greater New York City area. God forbid I LEARN anything! Quick! Somebody stamp out literacy!

I'm also working on a book on good/bad scripts and screenplays. The author holds up Pulp Fiction as a revolutionary way of storytelling via film, since it shirks off most traditional story arcs, chronological paths, and such. It's a good movie, but I never really put that much thought into it. The author also points out all the big holes in The Usual Suspects that I never bothered to find.

It's the weekend, and I have no plans. I'm waiting for GameFly to send me some new games to review for (unless 1up or one of the ZD mags wants to gimme a job), so I guess I'll park my ass on the couch and watch the entire Back to the Future trilogy followed with Superman 1 thru 4 (hopefully I'll fall asleep before 4). Or maybe A Bridge Too Far paired with Saving Private Ryan. Or maybe Road Trip and The Girl Next Door. So many choices!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Ladies 75, me 0

Congrats ladies, you're breaking my will slowly but surely, making it abundantly clear you simply aren't interested in my unique assortment of goodies. You're missing out, tho.

I have a new theory that I'm testing currently. It's that girls want a guy who is taller and/or bigger than them. Believe it or not, I found someone smaller/skinnier than me, who happens to be named Alison (not sure if it's 1 L or 2 at the moment), and she walked four extra blocks to another subway station with me just to keep chatting. Things look positive there.

There might be something else with someone else in the works, but it's very preliminary at the moment, so I don't want to say too much. I will say this, tho: we met each other's eyes (i.e., caught one another looking) at least 50 times today. I'm not exaggerating, either. I don't even know her name, but she looks a bit like Rachel Weisz, and that's certainly a good thing in my book.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Things to know when coming to New York City

1. Do not drive. It's pointless.

2. Instead of getting food "For here or to go," you get it "To stay or to go." Just accept it.

3. Yes, Kristin, you can get fake designer purses virtually anywhere in Manhattan.

4. They really do make the best pizza here. I get a single slice for lunch every day for $2, and not only is it big enough to be filling, it's good enough to be worth the $2. The guy at the Hudson Square Cafe knows me so well now, he throws in a slice of pepperoni as soon as he sees me. It's not as anonymous a city as you're led to believe.

5. They double-bag everything at the store. Everything.

6. It's soda here, not pop, but we ex-Ohioans keep pop alive in the confines of our own dwelling.

7. Don't get anything mail-order. It will be horribly inconvenient to receive since they will only try to deliver it while you're at work, and when they don't get an answer at the door, they'll ship it back to their warehouse in OHIO. No, I'm not kidding. This exact scenario happened to Maria and Rob with Best Buy and a TV.

8. Reason #2 not to get anything shipped here: We ordered our cable modem sometime early this past week and it's still not here. The cable company is up around 25th St. That's only about 60 blocks from here, or maybe 6 local train stops. I could have WALKED up there and got it myself by now! AAAGGGGHHHH!!!

9. You can buy porn movies at any local convenience store (like Drug Mart, only smaller, known here as a "bodega"), but you can't rent them at Blockbuster. Yeah, that almost makes sense.

10. New York--particularly the Bronx--is known for insect allergens. I just read about it today. Cockroaches can cause worse allergy symptoms, and even asthma in kids, than anything else, including dust mites. Good thing we don't have any roaches, but ya never know when or where they'll come from.

11. There are mice and rats in the subway tunnels. Hence the term "tunnel rats." They won't bother you, and the city regularly distributes rodenticide down there, so it's hardly a problem, but I do see them running around between the tracks every day or two.

12. Don't take a taxi. With traffic, it'll probably be cheaper, healthier, and faster to simply walk. Buses are marginally better, but the subway is the way to go.

13. At rush hour, all the trains run, and more of them, making a commute quite doable. You probably won't get to sit down unless you get on at the end of the line, and you may indeed be touching as many as nine people at once in your standing-room-only space. Just keep dibs on your wallet, a hand on a hand-hold, smile at the pretty girls, and you'll be fine.

14. They have a lot of full service gas stations here, but you'll pay as much as $0.10 more per gallon for the service. Speaking of, gas is currently about $2.13 here. How much is it where you are?

15. I don't know if this is widely available yet, but Budweiser is is selling beer here now with caffeine, ginseng, and guarana in it, so you can get hyped up while getting even more sloshed! For the city that never sleeps indeed.

16. You can buy movies here on DVD before they even come out in theaters. A guy was trying to sell me a copy of Constantine on DVD the Thursday before it was supposed to be hitting the multiplex.

Also, I'm officially becoming a New Yorker. I was walking to the train from work the other day, spotted some slow-moving tourists from a block away, and felt myself getting annoyed with their pace already. When I finally caught up to them about three seconds later, I got more irritated that they were moving so slow. I just want to get OUT OF THE CITY and go home! Step aside if you're going to gawk at your little map. And don't ask me, or anyone else, where any streets are in lower Manhattan. Take it up with the city engineers who decided to name them instead of using numbers down there like the whole rest of the city. Gar!

Kessen III, among other things

I'm in the midst of working on my Kessen III review for, as well as just taking a "promotion" to being PS2 and GameCube Editor(s) for the site. I quote promotion because I get more work and really no more pay. I'm up to receive some promo finally, which is cool. I never begged for it before, but after 7 months of service, getting ONE free game is something. Someday, maybe I'll even get a paycheck!

The game's shaping up pretty well, fixing some of the very minor niggles I had with K2, but creating some new ones in the meantime. When it's done and posted, I'll link to it, if I remember.

I've been gluing my shoes back together. Those tubes of crazy glue I picked up before leaving Ohio have become oh so useful. I'm also thinking about duct-taping the bathroom window shut so whichever asshole is leaving it open all morning, giving me a frosty awakening, will no longer have that option.

There was an anti-war protest today in Central Park I was going to attend at Maria's request, but she was gone before I got up (around noon). I didn't think hippies got out of bed for anything before noon. Either way, there's no way I'm going to make it to midtown Manhattan by 9am on a Saturday morning. It's against my principles. Besides, everybody who needs to know I'm against the war already knows about it, and the people who could actually affect change in the situation aren't going to do anything about it, even IF they knew I got out of bed so early on a weekend.

I'm thinking about starting some other blogs, as other people. Call it my need for multiple personalities. With any luck, they'll gain a bit of popularity, and maybe even incite a police investigation. It's just words, but they don't know that. Intrigued yet? Better I let out the darkness in my head here than out in the real world...

I took my resume into Yurman on Friday at their request. Looks like I might be there for a while, which is good financially, but I still won't make even $20k this year at what I'm making there. It's irritating to be so close to being finanically out of this pit and in a place to be even mildly philanthropic again, and not be able to reach it. In high school, before I acquired debt (thank you, college), I would buy all sorts of stuff for people for holidays and birthdays. Heck, I bought Shannon a PSone on a whim, and they still cost between $99-150. She told me not to, bla bla, but it was all about giving and seeing her eyebrows go up in that "So tickled I'm about to cry" look.

So yeah, I'd like to be back there money-wise before all my nieces and nephews are out of college. Luckily, most of them are old enough to appreciate videogames, which gives us something to talk about. None of them are as hardcore about it as I would like (they're much prefer Madden 200X or Tony Hawk 19 to Rez or Katamari Damacy). I'm sorry, but it's just not cool to be a casual gamer. I'm actually thinking about searching for comic book conventions in the tri-state area so I can meet some more of my own people.

Speaking of, we watched Mallrats tonight. Been a while since I saw that. Great flick. Then I slipped in Dodgeball and enjoyed it all over again while the roomies passed out on the couch. Typical. Lightweights....

Friday, March 18, 2005

Angry Bed Positions

This is not the post you are looking for. Move along. No, really, this is too funny to pass up, and many of you kids will relate and hopefully laugh heartily at it. Check out Mil's Angry Bed Positions. Back to work now, you lackeys!!

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Dear Readers,

I haven't forgotten you. Work is just kicking my ass lately and it's hard to put up with a shitty dialup connection, waiting for Blogspot to respond, and not be passed out in the meantime. This weekend hopefully I'll have both cable Internet access AND more time to fill you in. Ladies, that "fill in" goes double for you, if ya know what I mean.

Love to all my bitches and hoes...

Friday, March 11, 2005

Talk Hard

Just got done with Pump Up the Volume for the umpteenth time. The roomies fell asleep during it, as always. I could be watching Faces of Death and they'd zonk out. Anyway, the movie got me thinking: blogging is the new pirate radio, only no one controls what happens on here. Man, if blogs were around when I was in high school, I think a lot of things would have been different. Being a writer AND having lots of teen angst bullshit to get out of my system? Blogging would have been a godsend.

Then I start to wonder if I still have any of that emotional debris still floating around. I know these days I'm not as stressed and irritated and confused and frustrated as I was back then. Or am I? Maybe I just stopped letting it out, or even recognizing it's there. Maybe somewhere in the midst of stumbling into adulthood, you stop thinking you're allowed to be lonely, or sad, or scared, or confused. Maybe we think we know all the answers. Fuck, we're turning into our parents, aren't we.

I'm not particularly scared of anything that I know of, but I'm plenty frustrated. I think about getting my writing published or my CD out there, but even getting noticed in those businesses unless you know someone seems nigh impossible. Then I think about it...even if they bought one of my screenplays and never made it, I could still be looking at tens of thousands of dollars. Good scripts go for even more. I've never made more that $14k in a year in my life, so making $20,000 off one little script would be amazing, but how to GET it there....

I've never been particularly scared of girls, but the more I talk to them the more futile it seems to be. Every one (except Shell) thinks I'm a total weirdo and gives me that look of, "Hey, get away from me."

Yes, I'm bitching, and no, I won't shut up. People have problems, but we get to adulthood thinking we should keep it all to ourselves. "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything!" Grilled into our heads as kids, we end up spewing it to some wholly overpaid therapist because none of our "nearest and dearest" would listen. What the hell are they there for, then?

Then there are people who use their loved ones as emotional punching bags. Spouses are particularly bad about this (I won't name any names....yet. You know who you are). And screw marriage. I have seen what can happen to people in a very short period of time when someone rocks their boat just a little. People change as often as the seasons. Marriage is great for providing a sturdy social, emotional, and financial foundation for raising kids, but it often applies excess pressure to an already volatile situation. Say the parents aren't getting along but they're uber-into the "sanctity" of marriage. Their kids are screwed. Psychological studies have shown that it's better for the kids if the parents are apart and happy instead of together and miserable.

Marriage seems like an outdated idea. It's like making each other into property, which I think we abolished in America sometime around 1865. I'm all for monogamy and trust and honesty, but you don't need a piece of paper and some expensive ceremony to make that stuff real. Live it.

Ramble ramble ramble...maybe I'll have more to talk about later (I hear you groaning out there...shut up!). I have to go talk to Shell about Armada, the Dreamcast classic action-RPG.

Only to nice people

I hadn't found time to carry on in here yet about my former boss Diana at Yurman's. I say former because she got fired today. I don't know any details and buried my head in the sand as soon as I heard, so maybe there was a reason. In my mind, she'll forever remain tied for the nicest boss I've ever had, somewhere between Karen Ferdinandsen and Jenny Schaefer. Diana, if you're out there, you were a pleasure to work for, and I don't know what those pricks were thinking in letting you go.

I also wonder how this affects Yurman keeping me on after my initial assignment is up. Diana was all about keeping me on after the storm blew over, but now that she's gone, I don't know how I fare with anyone else there. Next week will be strange.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Emma vs. Max

Round One....FIGHT! I woke up today to two of the kitties beating the living shit out of each other. Emma's not so bright, but that's why we love her. I maintain the belief that her excessive hair actually grows together inside her head, leaving no room for a brain. Max is a little punk, tho. He'd even pick a fight with the three-legged mongrel Sophie (or Basketball, as I call her). Apparently Sophie knows some tripod jujitsu that terrorizes any kitty who dares enter her perilous volcano lair.

So Max and Emma were beating the shit out of each other. A lot. There were teeth and claws and the fur was literally flying. I had to vacuum the kitchen before I went to work, there was so much hair strewn around.

Look, Max. I understand you're pissed cuz somebody took your balls away. I'd be pissed, too (till I realized that meant I didn't have to worry about impregnating anyone!), but get over it. Stop beating on the girls. They don't have their litter-making parts, either. Although they DO have about nine teats. That's hot. How does one make a bikini for a kitty cat?

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Go to church and make money

I saw a guy on the subway today, dressed well and looking well, and he was reading a book about 'God's Shepherds' or something. I wondered why most of the churchy people who aren't totally nuts (they preach about the end times to us on the public trans pretty often) are usually pretty well off. I don't see a lot of 'tweeners. So, my hypothesis is that people who go to church make money.

The next question was, why? Simple: Networking. They go there, meet other relatively decent people, chat, do breakfast, and network their eyes out. They need somebody to do something for them, and they've found just the guy. It's a huge goodwill thing, and I'm wondering if I can get in on a piece of that action.

For those who haven't noticed or never bothered to ask, I'm more or less agnostic, leaning towards atheism. There, I said it. You may balk at me and close your browsers if you must, but you'll just be proving my oft-held belief that religion divides more people that it unites. I'm not a bad person. Much to the contrary, I live very much by several of the 10 Commandments even if I don't think they came here on stone tablets by a guy who walked across a sandbar (check your geologic history). The IDEAS are certainly sound. Getting into spookery and such just never appealed or made sense to me. Anyway, I'm all about doing unto others as you'd have done unto you, not coveting they neighbor's wife (moving quickly on), and not killing anybody. I don't steal, and I don't want to be stolen from (and ladies, you can steal a hug or a kiss, but you have to give it back!).

So, church. I tried this several times. I really did. The closest I got was that H20 thing back in BG, but it still never felt right. I can't have a meaningful conversation with a guy who says he's having a good day cuz god made it happen. SHIT also happens, but nobody blames god for that. Whatever. I strive to meet these other good people who are decent simply BECAUSE, not because they're afraid of the boogeyman or Santa Claus not bringing them anything. But, it seems church is the last resort, unless any of you dear readers would like to reach out and play with me. I'm bored. Aside from working, I play videogames, read, watch movies, eat, shower, sleep...pretty much the usual, but it shouldn't be THIS hard to find decent other people to interact with.

Some have even called me a pessimist for my views on life. Yeah, science is a pretty profound thing to me. Yeah, I'm part of the same decaying compost heap as everything else. And I'm okay with that. When you realize life isn't a gift, but a freak happening, you value it even MORE, because it wasn't given; it was EARNED. Millions of years of evolution. You could have been anything! A tadpole, an amoeba, a dung beetle. But no, you're a human, so stop with your Prozac and your Ritalin and just live life the way you are. You climbed awfully hard up out of that mud to lash yourself to a desk for the rest of your life. Get out. Have fun. Get the endorphins moving. Cuz in the end, there are no promises. There might not be a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow, and you held onto your wants and your desires for too damn long, only to find your guilt and your self-loathing got you nowhere. Get up, get out, go play!

Do what you did when you were six

Face it: when you were a kid, you had boundless passion for stupid, simple things. Running through the sprinkler, playing in the mud, singing and dancing while dressed in a curtain, pretending to be a musical Caesar...the list goes on. However, the more celebrity "Where did they come from" interviews I watch, the more I hear "I was doing this when I was six," be it singing or dancing or acting or just being an all-around ham. This idea occurred to me a while back, but I'd forgotten about it: for all you quarter-life-crisis people, think back to what you liked to do when you were six or seven years old. If you're stumped for a career path and are tired of wearing your fingers to nubs doing traditional jobs that your family thinks are cool, forget all that! Go play in the mud! Remember that lady who was in the Columbia sports outerwear commercials? That's what she does for a living. Or go run thru the sprinkler! Somebody out there gets wet for a living and is loving it, be it in the ocean or checking the level of pollution in a land-locked lake. Sing, dance, scream your lungs out! Let go of what you think you OUGHT to be doing and just do what comes naturally.

What about me, you ask? I remember getting home from school and making a beeline for the Atari 2600 and 800XL. Sometimes there were fights between me and my brother as to who got to play what and when, but those were the heydey of cooperative gaming. Remember Bruce Lee? So what if I always had to be the fat Sumo guy. I got to kick that hooded ninja into all sorts of perils.

The point is, I played a lot of video games, wrote ludicrous stories, and had to go to piano lessons at 3:15pm sharp. We forget what makes life fun when we grow up and try to do "grown up" things, only to find they're really not that fun.

So you're saying, "But I'm stuck in this shit job I can't stand cuz it pays the bills!" Well, while you're cruising the help-wanted ads, you can still have fun. Bring a frisbee to work. Tickle a co-worker. Scoot around the office in your wheeled chair. Bang on the desk and say, "We're not gonna take it!" Play Solitaire on your office computer and try not to get caught (you all do it with Instant Messenger now anyway). Goof off and make it fun. You don't get a second time around at any of this.

Now you're saying, "This guy is NEVER this optimistic. Is he high?" No, and I didn't get laid, either. I just believe that good will and enthusiasm are infectious. Get out there, make someone laugh! There's nothing better than having people smile in your direction. Make up a new word, like "fartcock." Recite lyrics from really old songs that you KNOW everyone remembers but won't admit to. They'll look at you weird at first, but sooner or later you'll become that cool person they all look to for amusement. Shit, it works for Asher, doesn't it?

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Great ideas people will probably steal

1. A new reality show called 'Pick of the Litter.' In it, we get triplets, septuplets, whatever! and have them fight for the attention of one willing suitor. Challenges consist of doing things you'd never want to do with siblings, like kiss, share toys, play nice...and they inevitably start sib squabbles over the suitor-to-be. It's sure to tear families apart every season! Come join the fun! And yes, they'll be of dating age (18+). My suggestion? Season 1 is me courting the Dahm Triplets.

2. A bikini store called Strings n Things

3. Slutty lingerie stores called 'Clothes for Hoes' and 'Britches for Bitches'

4. A lingerie store for plus sizes called 'Strong Thongs' and 'Brass Brassieres'

5. A B.B. King-music-playin' billiards hall called 'Blue Balls'

6. If Otto Octavius were a Proctologist instead of a Physicist, would they have called him Doc Proc?

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Fire and stuff

So Tara pointed out the flaw in my uniform stance, but there are always exceptions. She pointed out that firefighters wear uniforms, and since I've had an interest in that field for a while, she wanted clarity. I said that those guys (and girls?) wear that stuff for protection and identification, whereas corporate America would have its little peons all dressing the same to minimize a sense of identity and individuality among its little worker bees. So the military and firefighters and paramedics and cops and other public services I can respect in uniform, and those people save lives, which is probably where the adage about girls liking a "man in uniform" comes from. Those guys protect and serve. I can say with complete confidence that my Pizza Hut uniform NEVER got me laid. Ever.

You probably read the post on uniforms the other day. If not, you are a loser. It's right below this one. Go read it. I'll wait.

Done? Good. There are a lot of reasons I didn't do the RGIS thing here in Brooklyn, just so you don't think being a dress code snob was my only reason.

1. My pay wasn't going to change at all from what it was in Ohio. No increase at all for being in such a big place with a high cost of living. Meh.

2. The office looked and ran just like things back in Ohio...which is to say, bad. The office is small and stupid, filled with people who seemed to have their shit BARELY together, at best. Not impressive in the least.

3. The mere sight of an audit machine made my stomach tighten.

4. The schedule. It's even weirder here.

5. Parking. It's desired that I drive to any and all jobs, but parking would be a horrendous bitch, and while RGIS would compensate me for some vehicle use, bridge tolls, and thruway charges, it was just a lot more work than it was worth. Especially for making no more money.

6. Brooklyn's group is the ones who bat cleanup for the rest of the tri-state area, and by that, I mean they went to Philadelphia a couple times during busy season. That's just insane, and when you factor in NYC traffic for getting into and out of the city, every job would take the whole day, no matter what.

7. Figuring out meet/leave times with the sometimes unpredictable subway lines can be a nightmare.

8. My first job would have started at 5am. The job I ended up getting doesn't require me to be there till 9am.

9. My second job would have been waaay up in Harlem at the crack of dawn. I'm sure they're doing some wonderful things with that part of the city, but I'd rather see it in the daylight.

10. Probably the biggest reason (besides the pay rate issue) is that I got a call from Atrium to go work at David Yurman Jewelers in the office doing data entry. I got about 24hrs in my first three days alone, and I might end up there indefinitely. Another temp there has been doing the same job I'm doing for over a year now and is still considered a temp. It's steady, 6 days a week, 10 hrs a day, so I stand to make a killing with overtime and whatnot, if I can hack it. might suffer a little in the meantime, what with me having a lot less time to devote to the site, but them's the breaks. I'll give them more time when they start paying my bills. Oh, and in the last three days, I've probably seen more jewelry than you'll see in your whole lives. And the people who send this stuff in for repair are genuinely insane. Someday, I want a stiff clasp on an $8,000.00 watch to be MY biggest problem in life.

So there you have it. Another perk of this new assignment is they have the best little place to eat right around the corner, in Hudson Square. I had, hands down, the best slice of pizza in my whole life there the other day. Superb. Things might just be looking up!

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Beyond the uniform

I think my biggest issue the other day was I've graduated beyond jobs that give me uniforms. I don't want to go there anymore. A dress code is one thing, but being given strict instructions and being handed half of what I'm supposed to wear just makes me feel like that much more of a peon. No thank you.

I started my own PC Repair shop out of my home. I still work as a freelance writer/editor. I wear whatever I want, I work whenever I want. I meet really cool people. Going back to a uniform is a step in the wrong direction, methinks.

Then I came to NYC and really encountered office jobs full force for the first time (Cedar Point was an office job, but had a uniform), and realized once again that, even at the peon level, there's just something a smidge more respectable about being dressed in my own clothes. I told Marcie (@ Atrium) that I would do anything in the city today, just to get myself some damn hours. Lo and behold, not four hours later, she called me with a two-week assignment at a jewelry warehouse in downtown Manhattan.

I'm here to do New York things, not to regurgitate Ohio things and roll around in them. Recognize.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Look who grew up!

OMFG....she was a cute kid (see Halloween 4 and 5, and The Last Boy Scout), but she's become a stunning woman. You've come a long way, baby, and if I may say so, "Helloooooo NURSE!" Danielle, if you're reading this, you're only a month or two older than me, and I live in the boroughs now, too! Look me up, girl. Seriously.

Dear assholes...

...please don't blow me up. I don't support this war or the idiot in charge of it. I want my friends and countrymen to come home safe and sound and stop bombing you, but it's not up to me. I don't want you dead, whatever you think of me. Just stay in your little dust bowl praying to a savior and deity who never was and never will be, and don't blow up my nice city. Thank you!

Now, to our idiotic government. These guys obviously don't play by any rules, so why should we? I think it's time the CIA opened up its cache of ninja assassins and turned them loose on those who would blow themselves up for the greater good of Allah. Ninjas are the answer, as always. If we don't take the reins off our do-gooders, we'll keep losing.

American Knights

What the frick is this? On a side note, I like the name American Knights. It could be kinda a sequel to Three Amigos or Traffic....or both. It'd have to be better than that turd they called Black Knight with Martaaaaaan.

Silly Natalie

Apparently she's with this guy now. Sigh. I'm surprised stuff like this still annoys me. If I had any kind of real, tangible girlfriend, I'd have probably forgotten about her by now. Oh well, I've still got this one to keep my eyes peeled for.

What's a guy to do....

Tuesday, March 01, 2005


...the government does something right. Read on. In other news, I managed to start and quit a job before I even went to it. Rock on. I had to go with my gut on this one, and I'm optimistic about other things I'd rather do right now. I came to this city to do something different, and dammit, I will.

I called Rockstar today about my resume status on the Beta Tester and Ops Manager positions. They said it often takes about a month to get thru the resumes, so I've got some time to kill I suppose. I just hope to my chosen deity that I get either of those jobs. The guy on the automated phone menu has a British accent, and they make some of the most interesting, controversial stuff out there. What's not to like? Ahh, naivete.

I also picked up an app at the local paper (local as in 1 block from my apartment) for a writer/editor position. Can't hurt, eh? I also looked into advertising in the Times for my computer repair services (please feel free to email me if you live in the NYC area and are having computer problems), and just listing a classified ad online for 30 days costs $325. I shudder to think what it costs to run it in the paper itself. Maybe when I get a few more paychecks....