Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Go to church and make money

I saw a guy on the subway today, dressed well and looking well, and he was reading a book about 'God's Shepherds' or something. I wondered why most of the churchy people who aren't totally nuts (they preach about the end times to us on the public trans pretty often) are usually pretty well off. I don't see a lot of 'tweeners. So, my hypothesis is that people who go to church make money.

The next question was, why? Simple: Networking. They go there, meet other relatively decent people, chat, do breakfast, and network their eyes out. They need somebody to do something for them, and they've found just the guy. It's a huge goodwill thing, and I'm wondering if I can get in on a piece of that action.

For those who haven't noticed or never bothered to ask, I'm more or less agnostic, leaning towards atheism. There, I said it. You may balk at me and close your browsers if you must, but you'll just be proving my oft-held belief that religion divides more people that it unites. I'm not a bad person. Much to the contrary, I live very much by several of the 10 Commandments even if I don't think they came here on stone tablets by a guy who walked across a sandbar (check your geologic history). The IDEAS are certainly sound. Getting into spookery and such just never appealed or made sense to me. Anyway, I'm all about doing unto others as you'd have done unto you, not coveting they neighbor's wife (moving quickly on), and not killing anybody. I don't steal, and I don't want to be stolen from (and ladies, you can steal a hug or a kiss, but you have to give it back!).

So, church. I tried this several times. I really did. The closest I got was that H20 thing back in BG, but it still never felt right. I can't have a meaningful conversation with a guy who says he's having a good day cuz god made it happen. SHIT also happens, but nobody blames god for that. Whatever. I strive to meet these other good people who are decent simply BECAUSE, not because they're afraid of the boogeyman or Santa Claus not bringing them anything. But, it seems church is the last resort, unless any of you dear readers would like to reach out and play with me. I'm bored. Aside from working, I play videogames, read, watch movies, eat, shower, sleep...pretty much the usual, but it shouldn't be THIS hard to find decent other people to interact with.

Some have even called me a pessimist for my views on life. Yeah, science is a pretty profound thing to me. Yeah, I'm part of the same decaying compost heap as everything else. And I'm okay with that. When you realize life isn't a gift, but a freak happening, you value it even MORE, because it wasn't given; it was EARNED. Millions of years of evolution. You could have been anything! A tadpole, an amoeba, a dung beetle. But no, you're a human, so stop with your Prozac and your Ritalin and just live life the way you are. You climbed awfully hard up out of that mud to lash yourself to a desk for the rest of your life. Get out. Have fun. Get the endorphins moving. Cuz in the end, there are no promises. There might not be a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow, and you held onto your wants and your desires for too damn long, only to find your guilt and your self-loathing got you nowhere. Get up, get out, go play!


Alicia said...

Ok, I'm gonna have to disagree with you a little. The whole "people who go to church get rich" idea is so complicated, I'll probably have to email you the long version. Short version:

First, plenty of poor people go to church and stay poor. Not everyone who goes to church walks around holding a Bible in front of them, so "church-goers" are often difficult to distinguish in a crowd. Actually, it's your very poor people you're more likely to see in church because Christians are taught to be happy with whatever their lot in life is, so if your life is hard, there must be a God making it happen and He's making it happen for a reason. Pray to that God, and he'll give you whatever you want in the afterlife.

Second, in your big churches where it seems like everyone is rich, they didn't get rich by going to church. The farther you climb up the ladder of success, the less you have of a social life and the more you need to put on appearances. Where better to be social and look like and upstanding citizen than church? These people probably have someone to cook and clean for them, so Sundays aren't their "grocery shop/do laundry/clean the bathroom" days. They have time to pretend they're moral.

Finally, it's your middle-class schmucks like us who are least likely to be seen at church. They have it good enough to be living for more than just dying and hopefully going to Heaven, but they still have to work hard, often on Sundays and if they're not working on Sundays, they're recovering from working 12 hours a day. They're not high enough on the social ladder to care what society thinks of them and they're probably still young enough to have a hangover on Sunday morning.

So, sorry, just going to church won't make you rich. Being rich will make you go to church. And there is your piece of irony for the day.

Lord Boinkingham said...

Points well taken. The gist of it was that going to church would help me network with some potentially wholesome people, but you're right: my dad only went to put on airs, and loved showing off what great kids he had. I don't remember anything about going to church with him except the one time I didn't sit RIGHT next to him in the pew. I got a royal bitching-out for that one, and for what? Was I there as a showpiece, or to hang out in god's house? Yeah, and he has money (or had....long story that my sister knows all too well), so there's your proof.

I suppose it also boils down to me itching for a new love interest, too. Doesn't everything? Despite all warnings from my involved friends to the contrary, I wouldn't mind finding the last good girl in the world. There must be only one, and she's really hard to find. Maybe her name starts with an N. You know what I'm sayin...

Samantha said...

Church... heck God in general is confusing!