Monday, April 18, 2005

Erectile Dysfunction

Ya know, everybody talks about this like it's an epidemic, like it's something that just HAPPENS when guys get old. Let's think about this...how many of these guys you see in the commercials are dating 20-something supermodels, or even any woman under age 40? The fact of the matter, and something the drug companies don't want to let you in on, is that as women age, they don't look as good as they used to. So, say you get married at age 20. Your wife is a babe. You boink her 5 times a day and it never gets old. Then she starts shopping and gabbing and talking about kids and a house and a car and a nice neighborhood....and suddenly you stop screwing altogether. Of course, it's HIS fault, right? Whatever. Next thing you know, her boobs are hanging down to her knees, she's buying tube socks instead of bras, and anything that was ever hot about her has started to resemble the shell of an aardvark. She's not hot anymore, and she gives you way to much crap about your tools in the garage, that old t-shirt you've had since college, and basically everything else you find fun. With no passion AND no hot wife, I wouldn't be getting it up, either.

The moral of the story here, boys and girls, is that Viagra and Cialis are not drugs that make men happy. They are drugs that make women happy and keep men feeling redundant and unappealing. You think a guy on one of these stiffy pills ever gets a hummer? Not on your life.

By the way, in case you're wondering, my junk works quite well. Extremely potent, too. Any ladies wanna try to prove me a liar? You'll be walking funny, I guarantee it, or your money back!

2 comments:

jim miller said...

good for you, dude! i'm glad you're not "dysfuntional" in that department. that's a big ditto for me, except for the open challenge you've offered the ladies...

another point might be that when some people get old, the libido wanders off somewhere. much of sex appeal is for the excitement and rare opportunities available, when you're young. as sex gets regular, monotonous, or pointless after mid-life, it also is between aging less-appealing physical bodies.

i think the ads are ri-dick-ulous [sic].

Alicia said...

Yes, yes, yes, because the ONLY thing that gets people sexually aroused is outward appearances. No one actually falls in love and finds their partner attractive because of their personality.

And I'm pretty sure Viagra is not making JUST the ladies happy. If they're old and wrinkly, there is a pretty good chance that the guy they are with is old and wrinkly too and you don't see them trying to take drugs just so they can have sex with him.

Umm, you're not using this as your pick up line, are you?