I got on the train the other morning, noticing a large hole in the crowd toward one end of the car. What luck! I pushed thru the crowd and made it to the big empty only to find the air was polluted all too foully by some unwashed homeless dude taking a ride on the N. It was like Pigpen, where the dirt and stench nearly falls into the visible spectrum. Good god man, the N goes almost to Coney Island. Just get off and jump in the ocean to wash off that shit.
Come to think of it, that guy probably gets laid more than I do.