Saturday, April 23, 2005


I work in a part of my office right now where I'm surrounded by Spanish people. They speak it, they listen to irritating Spanish radio stations. I can only stand to look at Telemundo on tv for a split second, and the sound of it is bearable for only a second longer, so you can imagine my day. Plus, my mild degree of paranoia makes me think they're secretly talking about and/or planning against me.

I'm not bashing Spanish or anything. I have a particular dislike for a wide array of foreign languages. The only ones I take any pleasure in are Latin, and British and Australian accents. German is audible spitting, French is for girls and sissies, and Italian is for mobsters. Irish and Scottish are kind of amusing sometimes. I don't think I like any languages from Africa. Russian I have some respect for, but only because its funky alphabet was proliferated in this country by a slew of 1980s cold war movies like Spies Like Us. And a lot of good hockey players come from Russia. I suppose, by that token, that I should like Canadia. But only the English-speaking people up there. French is only to be spoken when surrendering.

P.S. I am a bad ass.

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