So hetero Nick and I are working on painting the downstairs, making the occasional "you're a fag" or "that's what your mom said" joke, when this gem emerged. It all began when I unloaded one of my fave jokes (it's an original, but you can borrow it for a small fee):
Q: What do a gay man and a bakery have in common?
A: They both have Sticky Buns.
Then Nick says, "And you WOULD know what it's like having your butt stuck together, right?"
He's implying that I'm gay. Which I'm not. I hate the cock, but I stand firm behind the fact that titties are the best thing ever invented. Girl titties. Make no mistake.
I replied, "Yeah, I've been reading your diary."
Oh, 'twas a glorious moment. See kids, the construction of the perfect comeback is a delicate art. Not only do I reverse it making HIM gay, but I also imply that he keeps a diary, which is inherently gay, or feminine at the very least, which for a guy, is pretty gay. MAN is he gay.
P.S. Andie MacDowell is hot. She has been for like 20+ years. Impressive, m'lady.