Friday, June 30, 2006

Superman and Tama

We went to see Superman Returns in iMax 3D last night, and it was pretty damn good. It did everything it needed to, but had a few things that bugged me.

1. Five years have passed in "story" time since Superman 4, but "real" time has jumped ahead 20-some years in technical innovations and the like. Supes used to change in a phone booth. Now he carries a cell phone. And it's only been five years? Eh...

2. It's five years later, but Brandon Routh and Kate Bosworth look decidedly younger than Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder did in their respective renditions of Clark and Lois. Brandon does have an uncanny resemblance to Reeve in both voice and stature, not to mention him really getting a handle on Clark's dorky mannerisms. Still, I had trouble buying these fresh young up-and-coming Hollywood faces as actually being older and wiser versions of the characters we last saw two decades ago (or five years ago, depending on how you measure it).

3. They never explain what he brought back with him from Krypton at the beginning. Was that a ship? Part of the Krypton planetary debris? A friend suggested that it was his ship, but I argued that it was pretty well trashed when he first landed many years ago, and was more of an escape pod than a pilotable ship. I also asked why he would need a ship since he can fly in space anyway. Well, maybe being back home weakened him. But would he have known it would affect him so before leaving? The object he appeared next to was much bigger than the pod he arrived in initially. Did he just build it in his backyard? Or did he make it out of one of those Kryptonian crystals, a la Lex Luthor's whole scheme in the rest of the movie? If that was what they were going for, they needed to make that connection more CLEAR.

I was going to review it for BlogCritics, but Tama beat me to it. And in doing so, got me to go look at her blog, which is one I'm going to have to visit more often. Especially for posts like this and this.

Dr. Teeth

No, this isn't a post about the front-man for the Muppet rockers 'The Electric Mayhem.' It's about what I learned about dentistry and my mouth in the last week or so.

First of all, to all you smokers and coffee drinkers with yellow teeth, if someone gives you shit, just tell them your enamel is slowly decaying as a result of too much mouth-breathing, because this actually CAN happen (it takes a while, the existing bacteria in your mouth hardens faster if the area is dry, and can also trigger gingivitis, so rinse while working out or being a neanderthal), and because the dentin underneath the enamel actually is yellow.

Also, 90% of root canals prescribed aren't necessary. If the root canal is being done to stem an infection, try antibiotics for a couple weeks first. It'll probably do the trick, and save you a lot of money and pain. Why would they prescribe the procedure then? Because it's expensive.

NEXT, if you're missing a tooth completely, get something put in there instead, because not only can the teeth on either side of it start "floating" (your teeth aren't as firmly rooted in your jaw as you think, and can change position rather quickly...remember brace-face in high school?), and the teeth above it can start to move as well, even fall OUT with nothing below to hold them in position.

I saw my own dentin recently, not from drilling or a cavity or any such thing. I had what's called an abfraction. This is where some external pressure (either from grinding or clenching your teeth, or brushing too hard) starts to form tiny fractures in the enamel, then coupled with demineralization can cause sections of the enamel to simply crumble apart. This is what happened to me. Still no cavities, I'm proud to say, but having a hole just OPEN UP in my tooth one day was a little disconcerting.

So after probably 3 years with no dentist, I went in for a checkup and everything's fine except for a little buildup in one place, which I would expect since I don't clean my teeth with an IRON HOOK. Just that one little hole, and its location (near the gumline, upper jaw, right bicuspid, on the front side) pointed most likely to a brushing problem. They told me to make sure I use soft bristles and not brush really hard (I didn't think I was before, but who knows). They filled in and polished off the hole today, no novocaine or anything. Just a quick rub with the drill across the area to make it rough and bondable, then put some stuff in thurr, polish it, and I was out. Done in like 10 minutes, start to finish.

I learned a bit about jaw alignment and muscle development, too, but I won't bore you with the details. HOWEVER, if you have an unusual SWALLOW (of all things), it can cause you problems, including things like abfractions. Typically, the tip of the tongue touches the top of the mouth just behind the teeth and sort of rolls backward as you swallow. If you do it any differently, it could put undue (albeit little, but it adds up) pressure on your teeth or jaw. So it's in everyone's best interests that we make sure we swallow properly. Ladies, this includes you. Learn to swallow. ;)

All's well that ends well, I suppose. It set me back about $340 between the exam, x-rays, cleaning, and the filling, but it would have likely cost me a lot more than that if I'd have been going every six months for the last three years like I was supposed to be. I'll call it even and cash out with a clean bill of oral health while I'm ahead.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Link Problems

You may have trouble opening certain older pics or files I've posted on here before because I rearranged directories on my Web server and Dreamweaver wasn't godlike enough to relink EVERYTHING I do on the Web. Bear with me, and if you click something that doesn't work, leave a comment and tell me where/what it is, and in which post so I can track it down and fix it.


Saturday, June 24, 2006

Evolution of a Druid

It's been a while since I gave you lovelies a look at the growth of my sexy lil Druid in World of Warcraft. First pic is from probably in her teens (in lvls):


Notice the patchwork pants, the crappy staff, and the all around pauper-esque appearance. Poor girl. And sleeping on a park bench no less. :(

But, all good things come to those who....level up. She's at 40 now, and looking a lot better. See for yourself.


Ooh la la, if I do say so myself. Standing proud on the docks of Menethil, sleek wardrobe and flowing cape, not to mention that excellentay staff she's sporting now.

Right click the pic and set it as your wallpaper. It will make her happy.

Also, for comedy's sake, here's a pic of one of many times Mike died and I parked my big bear butt on his head while he ran back to get his body. He's a tool.


Monday, June 19, 2006

Where I spend most of my time.

Wanna see the exciting place all these wonderful posts come to you from?

Click Here.

And now an update on my FACE since some of you lovelies have taken a liking to it.



I'm freakin HYPER right now. I don't know why. Oh wait, yes I do. Because Adblock Plus that I mentioned before has made the Internet into an addictive game for me. Finding and zapping ads off every page I open is so much fun, you wouldn't believe it unless you tried it yourself!

Surriously, though, it's INSANE how much faster pages load up when my browser isn't wasting time retrieving and opening stupid banner ads. Even this here blog winder works better! YOU'VE GOT TO TRY THIS.

Also, I was cruising around to see what MySpacers inhabit my old (and perhaps future) haunt, good ol' Brooklyn, NY. Somehow I fumbled onto Horatio Sanz's page on here (he is so funny it's not even right), which led to other SNL castmembers past and present. Maybe they're all fakes, I dunno. But how do I know that ANY of you are real? It's all a fantasy, and if I can convince myself for one fleeting moment that I'm really reading something written by Bill Murray or Tina Fey, I'm a happier chicken.

WHICH REMINDS ME, I got prairie chickens as pets for my characters in World of Warcraft. It's not hard to do if you know what you're doing. And in case you don't, take your Alliance toons to Saldean's Farm in Westfall, talk to the guy and buy some chicken feed, then go click on a chicken and go /chicken at it till it says the chicken is staring at you strangely and that you should inspect it. /Cheer at it, give it the food, and it'll lay an egg. The egg holds your pet! This goes well with my collection of in-game pets, including a Crimson Whelpling (rare drops FTW!), Old Horned Owl, and a Green Wing Macaw from Van Cleef. I should open a friggin zoo.

I'm hyper. I must go read more. So what if I don't have a life (even tho I do. No really, I do. Just ask somebody). I'm having a good time. :)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Adblock Plus and a Lazy Roommate

First, if you use Firefox, you HAVE to get Adblock Plus. It takes a second to figure out how to add filters, but imagine an Internet with NO banner ads or any such garbage. That's what you can have, and it's worth the few minutes it takes to learn to use. If you get it and don't know what to start blocking, add these right off the bat:

Those are pretty common, and adding them as wildcard filters prevents ANY ads originating from those sites (which is a LOT) to appear or load at all, saving you time and bandwidth. And if you're NOT using Firefox, get off the Internet you heathen. :p It's got enough extensions available now to make Internet Exploder thoroughly obsolete. Just get it; you'll be doing yourself a favor. It's better than IE in every conceivable way (except that you can't universally mute sounds; why haven't they fixed that yet?). Safer, more secure, and blocking vile malignant scripts is as easy as click, click, done.

Moving on, I just went into the bathroom to do some business on the jon, and I look over to see the faucet FULLY ON. Nobody's been in the bathroom for at least 10 minutes, meaning all that water just literally went down the drain. I think water is included in our rent, and I'm not really one of those Save the World fundies, but COME ON. TURN SHIT OFF WHEN YOU'RE NOT USING IT! Is that so hard? This extends to numerous lights left on all night, the TV being left on when no one's in the room (I normally might not care as much, but the thing is a 62" HDTV and that $300 bulb costs a lot of time and hassle to replace when it burns out), people just generally using more than their share of resources, and I get stuck splitting half the bill.

This came right after I emptied someone else's clothes out of the dryer to dry my own laundry, and since someone around here makes sticky yucky messes all over the washer and dryer (someone who is NOT me), I say fuck it, let their clothes sit right on there, too. This lazy sloppy never-look-behind behavior has got to stop, and I've tried the direct approach. It doesn't work. Whoever it is has just gotten so set in this don't-care mentality that it can't be changed now. After a full day of cooking and baking, I'd expect to see a few extra dishes in the sink. But they never made it to the sink. There are sticky messy dishes, flour, salt, sugar, and batter strewn EVERYWHERE in the kitchen, and it stayed there until the same time the next day. What. The. Fuck. Am I the only one on Earth who knows how to change the toilet paper roll, and adjust sonic bass to a reasonable level?

Can I move in with someone else who actually CARES about their dwelling please? PLEASE?

Friday, June 16, 2006

Two Bickering Assholes

Just a reminder to all you who savor dick jokes, rampant name-calling, opposing political views, and how capitalism will save the universe, it can all be found here:

Comments welcome. Unless you're a fartpoking dickblister. Then....well, you can comment, too, I guess.

The Prostate

We're almost done with the sperm donor qualification formalities (I start getting paid next week I think), but the two most recent steps were kind of interesting.

Yesterday I went in for a fasting blood draw, meaning I can't eat anything for 8 hours before they stick the needle in my arm. No biggie; I just had a bowl of cereal before I went to bed at 5am, then went in right when I got up at noon. What they failed to mention was that the girl drawing my blood would be totally cute. She struck up conversation to keep my mind off the needle, but it didn't much bother me, and I NEED to watch that stuff happen just because. Blood doesn't freak me out, and I'm no ninny about needles. Just deal with it, says me. BUT, even without the pleasant convo, I'd have been plenty happy and distracted just to stare at her. She had that nerdy kind of cute that just slays me. Most guys probably don't pay her any attention because she's not built like Barbie, but she was pretty adorable to me.

So, six vials of blood later, I realized a strange female hadn't struck up smalltalk with me AT ALL since.....shit I can't even remember when. For being the more verbal and communicative gender, women sure don't talk to me much in person.

Next up they wanted a urine sample. Pretty standard stuff there for anybody who's peed in a cup before. After that I spent about an hour touching up and finishing off my donor profile with a new coordinator they'd just flown in from L.A. She was cute too, in a teeny tiny southeast Asian-girl sort of way. We finally got that thing done (30+ pages!) and told me one of the genetic counselors from L.A. would be calling me soon to answer any questions they have about prominent diseases in my family, of which there are very few, so it should be an easy call.

From there, I went in and boned Miss May 2006 Alison Waite's Centerfold, left the cup with a lady who reminded me of my grandma (weird), and headed home.

TODAY was a little more strange. First off, driving anywhere in Massachushitts at any speed is like piloting a rocket through a city of stuntmen all performing at the same time on roads that were clearly designed (in width and logical arrangement) for horse-and-cart travel. Every street is one-way, and none of them make sense. Cambridge's streets are harrowingly narrow, and if you're not on your A-game as a driver, don't even bother. Shit and dirty looks and honking horns come from everywhere as any notion of Right-Of-Way flies right out the window.

I left myself 90 minutes to make a drive that should have taken less than an hour, and ended up getting there LATE on account of terrible drivers and even worse street layout and signage. I ended up stopping for directions at a Newbury Comics shop, wherein I happened to meet a lot of people like me in a short amount of time. Which is to say, nerds. And no one knew where Concord Ave. was. Finally an older customer guy helped us out. It was only about 100ft away. That's how bad the signage is up here. NOBODY knows where or what any road is.

When I finally got where I was going, I apologized for my tardiness to the doc performing my physical and he was understanding and even a little surprised at how long it took me to get there. Either way, it's all good. We begin.

He asks about any ongoing problems, symptoms, or regular medications I'm on (none). Do I use tobacco products, how often do I drink, when do I exercise, stuff like that (no, seldom, a few times a week, respectively). He checks my vision and everything goes as expected. He didn't do a blood draw because they just took a GALLON of it at the cryolab the day before. Checks respiration, blood pressure, pupil dilation, and reflexes, checks my general form and stature, it's all pretty typical. Then he sits down again and says that as part of the cryolab's requirements, he has to check me for hernias and examine my prostate. This should be fun, but not totally unexpected, all things considered.

I told him it was a new experience for me having anything in my butt, and he said that at his age (40s-50s?) he has it checked every year. It was a nice way of saying, "Trust me, I know what you're about to go through."

The hernia exam was pretty normal; I'd had that before. I drop trou and he puts his finger on one side of my junk, I cough, then the other side, cough again. Big whoop. Then, thank cripes he's a doctor, cuz any other guy standing there, me with my pants ankle-high, who said, "Now lean over that table and try to relax," would have gotten a weird look, and possibly a concussion.

Pause for a second. Everyone at some time or another has tried to stick their finger in their ass, either as part of childhood curiosity or wondering what women have to put up with from overly ambitious lovers. I don't remember the last time I did anything like that, but I DO explicitly recall that said finger DID NOT FIT, and I wasn't going to force the issue.

Doc throws on a glove, opens up the ketchup-packet-looking thing of lube, and all a sudden *ZOINKZ* *wiggle* *BLOOP* we're done. It was weird. That's the best way I can really describe it, though it did smart a little when he yanked his finger out. Maybe he shoulda done that a little slower so I didn't feel so pink-socked afterwards. Also, I experienced neither any major discomfort nor the euphoric sensation depicted by Seann William Scott in 'Road Trip' upon having his prostate "milked." It was what it was, probably a lot like fingering a vagina, only tighter and less willing.

We were done and I'm in tip-top shape, so from there I (trying not to get lost again) swung by the cryolab and dropped off a load for them to see how viable it is for me to donate two days in a row (they usually prefer 48-72 hours of abstinence prior to donating, but my sperm counts are ridiculously high...about 7 to 8 times higher than normal). We'll see how it went next week, I reckon.

I fought rush hour coming out of Boston on the way home, so it took longer to get here than usual. Got nearly killed many times by the phenomenally terrible Assachushitts drivers, had my fartbox fingered, saw several Harvard hotties in my travels thru Cambridge, then got paid to shake hands with the unemployed (wank). Now I'm beat, my bumhole hurts a little, and I just want to take a nap.

This concludes my broadcast day. :)

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Proverb, bitches

Made this one up myself, so be wise and LEARN IT.

"Sometimes it takes both hands to turn over a new leaf."

It means that sometimes making a change for the better is a lot more work than you thought it would be.

Also, a link for all you ladies who hate being stereotyped as the "sensitive type."

Monday, June 12, 2006


You morons put "please send an email to the Blogger support team" on your Help page, and then FAILED to put any kind of email address. You sure were eager to shove us off into the Help Groups. Feeling a little lazy are we?

If you get this message, leave me a comment as to why my other blog is getting this error message:

006 Please contact Blogger

Sunday, June 11, 2006


1. I guess I'm slipping with my crush. Natalie's birthday was yesterday (6/9) and I totally forgot.

2. Wash your hands after you cut your toe nails, and make SURE you don't pick your nose before you wash them. Getting footstink out of your nose is up there with removing blood stains. Not that I get lots of blood on me or anything.

3. Tina Fey (the SNL Weekend Update co-anchor) is fanTAStic to look at, and is funny and nerdy to boot. And totally unavailable. :(

4. The Net Neutrality amendment failed, which generally seems like a bad thing, but I theorized a couple of possible positive outcomes. One, the telecom companies try to impose tolls on big companies like Amazon, eBay, and Google for priority net bandwidth and access, and they all reply with a unified "GO FUCK YOURSELF" and not having net neutrality ends up being a moot point. Two, some upstart comm company emerges with a fancy new faster connectivity option, and promises net neutrality to anyone who joins their network, effectively making them explode in popularity overnight and sending the staid greedy bigger companies right to the corporate grave.

5. There are a million and one things Worcester, MA doesn't have that it really oughta. Like a Dairy Queen, more than one Pizza Hut, a good pub with wings and booze, any decently paved or marked or lined roads, and it has way too many vacant store fronts. If you want to check out that Norman Rockwell vision of New England, stay the fuck away from here. I think the Earth took a shit and people built houses around it and named it Worcester.

6. National Lampoons European Vacation is on TV. It is funny.

7. We've got a few new updates on Life by M and M, should you want something funny, obscene, politically charged, and completely absurd to read.

8. BlogCritics is fun to write for. Check out my stuff if you get a chance (or are extremely bored).

9. Nobuo Uematsu says he's inspired by Danny Elfman. Cool.

10. It's hard to find out some things about one's own family. Do YOU know the eye color, height, and weight of everyone in your family? We won't even bother with the other specifics I have to come up with just for this.

11. I got an error message about an hour and a half ago that said Firefox encountered a problem and needs to shut down. I was in the middle of something, so I just dragged the message off the screen and ignored it, and Firefox has been working flawlessly the whole time. Stupid Windows.

Friday, June 02, 2006

I hate the word "Premium."

It just smacks of snobbish, prissy, "I'm better than you" behavior, which I can't stand. What's worse, it's being used on products and services now that SHOULD simply be called "Complete" or "Finished" or "The Way It Should Be But We're A Big Corporation Who Hates People and Masturbates With $100 Bills Rolled Up In Our Hands So We Released This Incomplete, Inferior, Piece Of Shit Product and Billed It As 'Standard' Because You Trolls Don't Demand Better From Us."

Or something like that. I fucking hate things that say "Premium" on them. Microsoft does this a lot. Pretend to be surprised. But it's also on gasoline, which is another sore subject in the world these days.

Fuck Premium.

It's Broke

I installed a game called DinoHunters tonight, figuring that since I do tech support for it, I should probably know a little bit about it. It's pretty bad, but that's beside the point. I installed the game on my new PC, ran it, and this is what the game world looked like:

Is that a chick?

Is that a chick (part two)?

Tex, the man with no eyes.

The inside of your RV should look like this, too.